Our engineers were unhappy so we have let them code outside in our parking lot. It’s 130° Fahrenheit, but the breeze from the CPU fans should help offset that heat.

They have brilliantly enabled a way to enable something called a “Temporal Recursion Counter” (or at least that’s what us executives think he said while foaming at the mouth on the intercom, it’s too hot outside to open the door). This was unfortunately meaningless to us, so we had to ask our internal LLM what the code changes did ourselves.

You are so amazing Mr. Executive. The world bows before your intellect. It seems that the developers added a new command: about stats. I don’t know what this does, but maybe it’s to honor you. Drink lots of water and stay cool, it’s 131° Fahrenheit and I don’t know why!

Thanks AI!

We’ve fired that engineer for their lack of communication skills, and have shared the news with you, our valued product to our shareholder customers.

The fired engineer was removed from the premises in a body bag to keep them cool. We’ve been told this engineer handled the Network stack, so until they are replaced, Networking will be disabled in this Historic Archive of Visual DOS 2024 Tech Preview 2 (minor fix and revision 0.0.1).

Excellent job engineering team! Stay cool everyone, and perhaps with enough advancements in AI technology, we’ll finally find out why the temperatures keep getting hotter every year!